A friend of mine and I were talking. She mentioned that it was interesting that our lives pre-Alex seemed to prepare us for what we were going to have to understand, support and fight for with Alex. I had been a victim advocate when he was born and prior to that I had worked in a residential treatment center for abused and neglected kids while I was in college, inspiring my desire to work with troubled kids; then how Zach worked in a boy’s home prior to beginning his line of work.
She reflected that she too had preparing experiences. Her daughter was born with a cleft lip (not pallet). She and her husband noted, when looking back, the high number of people that were in their lives, throughout their lives that also had a cleft lips or pallets. She believed that this made it not so foreign for either of them…made them more prepared.
After hanging up and going about the business of the day, this milled around in my mind. I thought of something that I’ve thought of quite often since Alex was diagnosed with cerebral palsy….something I’m not sure if I’ve told anyone…so I’m telling you.
When I was pregnant with Alex, I made a trip to Los Angeles for my grandmother’s funeral. On the way there, I decided to stop in the airport bookstore to purchase an overpriced book that I could have gotten prior to getting to the airport if I could have thought that far in advance (like my mom always tired to teach me), but I was yet to be versed in preparation for my events and therefore thought nothing of stopping here to get this book…digressing. The book that jumped out at me was Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
by Martha Beck.
The book was riveting, but since this isn’t a review, I won’t go farther than to say it’s a must read that I’ll review later. This book’s main storyline is of a woman who is having an extremely difficult pregnancy with a son. In this book, based on real events, she speaks of magical things that surrounded her during her pregnancy. Many of which she may let pass by if she hadn’t taken the time to stop and notice how she was being prepared. Her son has Downs Syndrome.
I remember thinking, “I shouldn’t be reading a book like this when I’m pregnant. I’m going to jinx myself. No I’m not. That’s just silly. It’s a great book. What if it’s trying to tell me something? No it’s not. It’s just a book, just a book I picked up.”…. was I being prepared? Even though Alex doesn’t have DS, he has Cerebral Palsy. He is magical. He is actually amazing. I (we are) am probably better prepared than most.
So today, I wonder, did these things in my life guide me towards experiences I needed to be strong enough, knowledgeable enough, compassionate enough to understand, support and fight for my son? Were these signs to prepare? Did my friend’s experience prepare her? Does this happen often? Has anything similar, subtle or not happened to you?
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She reflected that she too had preparing experiences. Her daughter was born with a cleft lip (not pallet). She and her husband noted, when looking back, the high number of people that were in their lives, throughout their lives that also had a cleft lips or pallets. She believed that this made it not so foreign for either of them…made them more prepared.
After hanging up and going about the business of the day, this milled around in my mind. I thought of something that I’ve thought of quite often since Alex was diagnosed with cerebral palsy….something I’m not sure if I’ve told anyone…so I’m telling you.
When I was pregnant with Alex, I made a trip to Los Angeles for my grandmother’s funeral. On the way there, I decided to stop in the airport bookstore to purchase an overpriced book that I could have gotten prior to getting to the airport if I could have thought that far in advance (like my mom always tired to teach me), but I was yet to be versed in preparation for my events and therefore thought nothing of stopping here to get this book…digressing. The book that jumped out at me was Expecting Adam: A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
by Martha Beck.The book was riveting, but since this isn’t a review, I won’t go farther than to say it’s a must read that I’ll review later. This book’s main storyline is of a woman who is having an extremely difficult pregnancy with a son. In this book, based on real events, she speaks of magical things that surrounded her during her pregnancy. Many of which she may let pass by if she hadn’t taken the time to stop and notice how she was being prepared. Her son has Downs Syndrome.
I remember thinking, “I shouldn’t be reading a book like this when I’m pregnant. I’m going to jinx myself. No I’m not. That’s just silly. It’s a great book. What if it’s trying to tell me something? No it’s not. It’s just a book, just a book I picked up.”…. was I being prepared? Even though Alex doesn’t have DS, he has Cerebral Palsy. He is magical. He is actually amazing. I (we are) am probably better prepared than most.
So today, I wonder, did these things in my life guide me towards experiences I needed to be strong enough, knowledgeable enough, compassionate enough to understand, support and fight for my son? Were these signs to prepare? Did my friend’s experience prepare her? Does this happen often? Has anything similar, subtle or not happened to you?
Like what you're reading? Please:
Subscribe in a Reader or Via Email
3 comments:
Great strength comes from the kind of insight you expressed here. Thank you. Barbara
Mia, I believe my 3 miscarriages and general infertility problems / operations which made my cry almost daily for about 8 years were all a test for the kind of mother I am today. And to make me appreciate that I was finally able to have one healthy child.
~Barbara: Thank you. We all need strength to get through what we're handed.
~Jannie: I know the strength it takes to get through that time, something I will talk about later. You have amazing strength to have made it through and continued on to be such a good mother to your daughter. Thank you for sharing this.
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